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Joke of the Day

"A slutty egg walks into a bar. Everyone starts laughing at her. ""I don't get it. What's so funny?"" she demands. The bartender says, ""Well, the yoke's on you."""

"What's even worse than five dead babies in a dustbin? One dead baby in five dustbins."

"Nothing scares me more than when my husband answers me and I'm left wondering just how much he's actually been listening."

"""Why can't I just eat the wax?"" ~me, when I can't open the cheese"

"Some of my Satan worshiping friends invited me to an open discussion on Satanism... I'm not a Satanist myself, but I do like to play Devil's advocate...it was very confusing."

"[Girl's night out] Girl 1: Omg I haven't had sex in so long, I swear I have cobwebs down there Spider-Man's GF: *nervous laugh* HAHA SAME"

"Old Mrs. Hubbard, went to her cupboard to fetch her old dog a bone. But when she got there, the cupboard was bare, so he gave her a bone of his own"

"Why do turds taper off at the end? So your asshole doesn't slam shut"

"Hear about the time Mohammed's wife called him a pedophile? Mohammed responded ""Pedophile is a pretty big word for a 9 year old!"""

"Said I'd buy my son some stuffing for his pillow. He wanted to come with me. Then his sister did too So now I'm getting down with the kids."