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Joke of the Day
"I'm not an alcoholic... My liver is evil and it must be destroyed."
Next Joke
"A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. ""There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning."" ""Who shall I call"" her husband asked ""police or ambulance?"""
"If these walls could talk I'd fuckin' move out immediately."
"I walked past the pub the other day with my girlfriend, and they wouldn't stop calling me a paodophile just cause I'm 30 and she's 20 They completely ruined our 10th anniversary."
"I called German UPS to ask them when they would ship my Rift.. They said, ""VR ready."""
"If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don't need it to add up all the ladies you get...."
"*walk up to woman breastfeeding baby* Is this guy bothering you?"
"Chuck Norris... ..was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands"
"at any given time the urge to sing ""the lion sleeps tonight"" is just a whim away a whim away a whim away a whim away"
"Laughter is the best medicine........unless you have Morphine. Then Morphine is the best medicine."