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Joke of the Day

"What does the First Lady say to the President during sex? ""Oh yeah! Yeah! Do me in my Oval Orifice~!"""

"How do you make a fireman cry? Kill his family."

"A man on his death bed: ""Honey, are you here?"" ""Yes darling"" ""Ana, are you here?"" ""I'm here daddy"" ""John, are you here too?"" ""Of course daddy"" ""Then who's in the fucking shop??"""

"Secret combination of ingredients for homemade Viagra discovered Add 2 parts MiracleGro to 1 part Fix-A-Flat"

"How could a leper afford a nice house? It cost an arm and a leg"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bargain ! Bargain who ? Bargain up the wrong tree !"

"The white Xbox One S was just announced. Of course it's 40% smaller than the black one."

"So I tried to get a ride from Subway., Turns out that they don't deliver"

"Who doesn't like lincoln logs john wilkes blocks"

"I wrote a short story about some angry fruit... Its titled ""The Wrath of Grapes."""