187438

Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for every dollar I had... I would be a counterfeiter."

"Bernie supporters voting for Trump isn't like drinking bleach, its like drinking castor oil... we know its going to be awful, but we have something we *really* need to get rid of."

"How do you pick Dolly Parton's Kids out of a crowd? They're the ones with stretch marks around their lips."

"I told my wife she shops too much, but she wouldn't listen. She's so damn clothes-minded"

"If a bear tries to attack you in the woods, give it your bicycle. Maybe it's one of those circus bears, you never know."

"Why can't you trick an aborted baby? Because it was not born yesterday."

"what is funny and starts with a j a joke"

"My wife left me According to her, she is sick of me talking behind her back and pushing her around. In my defence, she's in a wheelchair."

"Poured my cat some almond milk & now she has bangs & drives a Prius."

"How to get midgets to drink your beer. Try setting the bar low."