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Joke of the Day

"To avoid identity theft when I die I want to be shredded."

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"I took my girlfriend home to meet the family My wife went fucking ballistic"
"Why were birth rates low in 1970? You can't get pregnant during '69."
"Jeb says hes good at fixing things and I don't doubt him... People who voted in Florida during the 2000 presidential election know what I'm *talkin* about."
"Bars are one of the few places that will solve your problems & create your problems at the same time."
"Chuck Norris got bored of life, so he invented Ebola."
"The police and a hole. There is a sinkhole in the street and the police are looking into it. Oh yeah, Jerry fell in from looking to closely."
"What happened to the cold jellyfish ? It set !"
"ME: This house is haunted WIFE [sigh] We've been thru this, that's our son SON: I just have a pale complexion Dad ME: TELL ME YOU HEARD THAT"
"Hey, redditors of Cuba ...oh, my bad."