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Joke of the Day

"[On the phone with the police for the 7th time in 2 weeks] ""Sir, again, we cannot arrest your cat"""

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"Where can you go to pick up black birds? The crow bar"
"I'm not real familiar with who this Rorschach guy is... ...but he sure loves painting pictures of naked dudes."
"The funniest vampire jokes... ... never see the light of day"
"My wife used to get so fat that she had to go to the hospital; then a person would fall out of her. That doesn't sound normal."
"Where are you when you're in the U.K. waiting for Vietnamese soup? Pho queue"
"A double entendre walks into a bar..."
"What do you get when you cross a cricket with a bat? Nothing as they cannot breed with eachother"
"Prince: ""The slipper fits! You're the girl I met!"" Girl: ""I wasn't even at the ball. This is a common shoe size."" Prince: ""YOU'RE THE GIRL!"""
"I wrote an essay about American Patriotism Then I pointed at it and started shouting ' You Essay! You Essay!'"