187389

Joke of the Day

"I will spend a minimum of three minutes looking for something resembling a spoon before breaking down and washing one."

"I'm so sick of seeing so many lazy abortion jokes on here Like can we just cut it out already?"

"What do you call Mexicans living in the USA? Illegal aliens. LOL"

"Did you hear about the pizza boy who wanted to become a comedian? (OC) His material is terrible, but his delivery is amazing!"

"Girlfriend and I broke up Now I have no friends. Sadly. A true dark joke."

"Have you ever thought about dying instantly? couldn't hurt."

"What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common? Immigrants"

"I don't like my doctor who was incredibly offensive today... ... All I asked her was how I was supposed to take the suppositories she prescribed."

"Why do Chinese warriors die so easily in battle? No matter how much protective garments they wear, there's still a chink in the armor."

"It's my epileptic friend's birthday soon so I got him a strobe light. He's going to have a fucking fit when he sees it."