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Joke of the Day

"I had really loud unprotected phone sex last week Now I have hearing AIDS."

"People who talk to themselves are more intelligent then those who don't. Well that's what I like to tell myself anyway."

"A vending machine fell on me today Luckily it only had soft drinks"

"I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit."

"A Rabbi, a Canadian, and a New Yorker walk into a bar Just kidding the Rabbi was actually a terrorist and they all died in the explosion!"

"Why did the cheese go to the museum? To get cultured"

"Do you know how to make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it"

"I got a sweater for Xmas I appreciate it, but I would have preferred a screamer or a moaner."

"what is the disease that killed princes diana? Car pole tunnel syndrome"

"What is the difference between a black and a bucket of shit? The bucket."