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Joke of the Day

"People who talk to themselves are more intelligent then those who don't. Well that's what I like to tell myself anyway."

"To anyone who might want to try homebrewing: Trust me, it's wort your while."

"I came up with this when I was three years old. What do you call an egg that's scared? A chicken egg."

"I climbed a really tall ladder. Afterwards, I was rung out."

"The shame about ancient Grecian art... The shame about ancient Grecian art is that there are amazing marble sculptures and structures which too often get taken for granite."

"I have to poop like the Joker... really, really bad."

"The perfect Irish bean stew (In an Irish accent) Why does d' perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n' terty nine beans? Because if you added one more it'd be two farty."

"What's the difference between a shrimp with big tits and a bus station full of old people? One's a busty crustacean and the other's a crusty bus station!"

"give a man a jacket He'll be warm for the winter. Teach a man to jacket he won't leave the house."

"The hard life of a dick... ...his hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his next-door neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."