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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? I have no idea but I wouldn't try milking it"

"What does Sean Connery surf on the Internet? Reddish."

"In the beginning, God made Heaven and Earth... The rest was made in China."

"Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: No idea, I'm not black."

"WIFE: [holding newborn baby] Ive never been so proud of anything in my life ME:[thinking about that one time I drew a perfect giraffe] same"

"I heard there are only 140 characters allowed on Twitter, but that can't be true. I've been on there before - almost everyone is a character."

"A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says, ""Show me it's true what they say about black men."" So he stabs her and steals her purse."

"9: The remote isn't working me: Did you smack it? 9: Yep me: Did you push the button down really hard? 9: Yep me: Well I'm out of ideas"

"I'll never forget my grandfather's dying words... ""AAAAHHHH!"""

"Spent the last twenty minutes trying to get my sideburns even and now I'm sporting a mohawk."