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Joke of the Day

"Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it."

"Why don't people in Kuwait know who Obama is? Because they've been living under Iraq."

"LPT: If you've got toddlers at home, and you're going to take them out... You can probably get away with using a light sedative. Save chloroform for children 12 and older."

"I'm not that great at hide and seek... I look in the mirror and I lose everytime."

"I really like working with spices... My newest recipe is cumin cider."

"""Fraud"" Our teacher put an ugly dried up amphibian specimen on the lab table and asked: So. Is it a FROG or a TOAD? Murph: It is a ""FRAUD""."

"5: I want to do something no one else has ever done. Me: Help me clean? 5: No. Something fun."

"Girl, are you pre-Renaissance art? Because you need to get some perspective."

"What do you call a Mexican that flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!"

"The moral of Snow White is if a woman poisons you because you're prettier than her, find some men to chase her off a cliff while you sleep."