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Joke of the Day

"When people post sad things on Facebook I just want to hug them and whisper softly in their ears, ""no one cares."""

"F(x) walks into a bar the bartender looks at him and says ""Sorry we don't cater for functions"""

"What is the difference between Issac Newton and the 5 year old i just stabbed to death? Issac Newton died a virgin."

"My new wifi password: Whatsawifi Enter DWMC-esque dude/sweet scene."

"Two blondes are found frozen to death at a drive-in theater. They were watching ""Closed for the Winter."""

"How do you trap a polar bear? Dig a hole in the ice, and line the edge with peas. Then, when the polar bear comes along to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole."

"I was arrested yesterday for stealing eggs. I could've sworn they were free range."

"I've just invented a perfume made from holy water Eau my God"

"A mother was tucking her son in one night she really wanted a daughter"

"What did drunk say to the blonde? Nice ass."