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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between the Welland bus terminal and a Lobster with breast implants? One is a busty crustacean, and the other is a crusty bus station."

"11:30 - Sit on toilet, open Twitter. 11:54 - Try to stand, fall to floor with numb legs. 11:55 - Get comfortable on floor, open Twitter."

"A Joke by my Physics Teacher A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the roof of his building. Just before the man jumps, the physicist yells: ""Don't do it! You have so much potential!"""

"Is your last name Stilton? *insert cheesy pickup line here...*"

"My Thanksgiving, in math &radic;-1 &mdash;&mdash; &nbsp; 8"

"If women can do anything that men can do, then why haven't they ever suppressed an entire gender before? Its a joke lady's."

"So you've had white presidents, a black president and now an orange one. I'm crossing my fingers for the Hulk next time around."

"What kind of drugs to tumblr users take? Anti-oppressants."

"would you like to come on our quiz show? you could win 2,000,000? [imagines spending the entire show standing up] ""no thanks"""

"After 12 years in prison ..... After 12 years in prison, a man finally breaks out. When he gets home, filthy and exhausted, his wife says, ""Where have you been? You escaped eight hours ago!"""