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Joke of the Day

"What is a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear Sir/Ma'am, We are cutting your internet connection due to the following reasons: 1. Illegal Downloading"

"The next time I see a feminist say ""Kill all men""... I'll just reply ""Valar dohaeris""."

"Why did the competitive deep-sea diver lose the big competition? He couldn't handle the pressure."

"Why did Jesus quit playing hockey? He kept getting nailed to the boards."

"Why was 10 afraid of 7? Because 7 (eight) 9"

"Waiter: how do you want your burger? Me: *points to girl at another table not taking a picture of her dinner* that rare"

"I will tell you a racist mexican joke in three, two, Juan..."

"Doctor: Have you quit smoking yet? Me: Has there been a string of unsolved murders in the news? Doctor: No. Me: Then, no, I haven't."

"I've finally finished my fresh herb cookbook It's about thyme"

"Squirrels run around like they're being chased. Nobody cares about you. You live in tree. Get a job"