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Joke of the Day

"How do you teach a girl math? Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, give her a square root and watch her multiply."

"Some guy beside me farts, so I say : ""Hey! Some arsehole's talking shit behind your back!"""

"A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner... ...The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. ""Och, I look like a pig!"" The man nods, ""And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"""

"Grammar Nazi If somebody who is really anal about proper grammar is called a Grammar Nazi, is someone who constantly makes grammatical mistakes a Grammar Jew?"

"What do a Mexican and a cue ball have in common? the harder you hit 'em the more english you get"

"I can sneak in an Uptown Funk reference here. Don't believe me? Just watch."

"What do you call a kid that is afraid of the dark? Racist"

"Q. What do you call a ginger bread man wit one leg? A. Limp biskit"

"Kids used to call me ""four eyes"" in school. I'm not sure if it was because of my nerd glasses or because I spelled my name Loriiii."

"Choose a major you love and you won't have to work for a day in your life Because that major probably has no jobs (not an original)"