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Joke of the Day

"Not saying Lois Lane is a shitty reporter but my friend showed up without his glasses on today and I recognized him after like 20 minutes."

"Chuck Norris' prostate has eaten dozens of doctor's middle fingers."

"If you ever need help learning C++, I can give you some pointers. And you can keep me as a reference."

"Prostitution work laws If a hooker gets pregnant, can she file compensation for an on the job ""accident""?"

"I nod and smile at empty places just to confuse any ghosts that might be there into thinking i can see them."

"be careful when u talk baby talk to a baby becuase if u dont understand what ur saying u may acidentaly be declaring war in baby langauge"

"My New Year's resolution is to stop eating so much candy, so I can focus more on cookies."

"Two peanuts were walking down the alley... One was assaulted"

"Why is light beer similar to sex in a boat? They're both fucking close to water."

"I tripped over some shrooms the other day...Because I didn't see them. It was dark and I was high."