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Joke of the Day

"*ball flies past 15 love -aw thanks *ball flies past 30 love -too kind *ball flies past 40 love -you too babe Have you played tennis before?"

"What do you get if you cross a plum with a man eating monster? A purple people eater."

"""You run like you're making fun of running."" -my brother"

"I'm a theist I would be atheist, but I left a space for God."

"do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don't have to be there"

"What's a ghost's favorite sexual act? Booooooooooooookake"

"My girlfriend left me recently because I kept on touching pasta... Right now I'm feeling cannelloni..."

"Include a snapshot of Doge the dog with your #resume. When asked about it during the interview, reply ""What do you meme?"""

"What's Alex's (from 'A Clockwork Orange') preferred type of light? Ultraviolent"

"*unplugs 100% charged iphone* *slides to unlock* battery 43%"