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Joke of the Day

"My brother recently got married To celebrate, my mother decided to pull out a couple bottles from my late father's homemade alcohol collection. That way he could be there in spirits"

Next Joke
 
"Hey, guy who named the mustache Hair lip was available"
"A feminist, a fat person and a Hitler walk into a bar... Feminism is bad."
"My dog had a tick once, Someone recommended i try the ""lighter fluid and match"" trick, it definitely worked as my dog never got a tick again. But man, I sure do miss my dog."
"""IT'S A BOY"" I shouted... With tears rolling down my face, I shouted out loud. ""I DON'T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!"" It was at that moment I decided never to visit Thailand again."
"*Dentist's waiting room* *Trying to make conversation with other patient* So... I guess you have teeth, too?"
"Airline Prices Airline prices are getting out of control, soon they will start charging for emotional baggage. ""Where did he touch you as a kid? that will be an extra $50."""
"[Lab] Co-worker: ""Where's all the microscope oil and acetic acid?"" Me: (with a mouthful of salad topped with vinaigrette) I dunno."
"Me: No, you hang up first Pizza Hut: *click*"
"Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my Facebook status..."