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Joke of the Day

"Bear mace is like regular mace but you have to buy it at the maul... Thank you for your time."

"""Wow, this relationship is really rocky. I bet a wedding and baby will solve everything!"" Women logic."

"Men You know how they say ""why buy the cow if you get the milk for free?"" Well I say, ""why buy the whole pig for a little sausage..."""

"Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park ? They woke him up."

"JUDGE: I find you guilty of murder. Sentenced to life. LAWYER: But it was only 20 minutes of murder. JUDGE: Oh, then you're free to go."

"""Yesterday, my wife left me for my best friend"" ""Who is your best friend?"" ""Robert"" ""Since when is Robert your best friend?"" ""Yesterday."""

"COP: The killer wrote a message on the victim's mirror ME: You can't prove it was me COP: It was written in Dorito dust ME: I want a lawyer"

"Heard they weren't celebrating Christmas at the University of Alabama... Couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."

"What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream when you break it in 8."

"My girlfriend told me that she had slept with 144 people before me. Now that's just gross."