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Joke of the Day

"The doctor said I may have a strained abdominal muscle which is cool because that means I have an abdominal muscle."

"What's a hipster's biggest problem? You probably haven't heard it."

"You've probably heard this joke before. It's hilearious."

"Why aren't burgers the least bit scared of Halloween? They're used to people 'goblin' them!"

"After watching Interstellar, I really want to buy a Lincoln."

"What did the pink panther say as he skipped down the sidewalk? Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnt, deaaad ant."

"My friend David lost his ID yesterday... We just call him Dav now"

"My remaining Scrabble tiles were PENSI, so I played the name of a long, hard body part ... ... SPINE."

"Two clowns are running for public office... It's funny for me though because I live in Canada."

"Is that a banana in your pocket or... oh wait that is a banana. Sir I'm with super market security. Please come with me."