186249

Joke of the Day

"My friend got me a sweater for Christmas... I would have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but she did the trick."

"Next time someone asks you how you slept, close your eyes & say ""like this"" & just stay that way for like 8 hours!!!"

"What do you call a Mexican that lost his car? Carloss. MUHAHAHAHA"

"My thai girlfriend told me a small penis doesn't matter... ...I still wish she didn't have one though"

"Dog and a Candy Bar How is a dog before he goes into the vet like a Snickers, and after he comes out of the vet like a Milky Way? They are both the same, just without the nuts."

"I like going up to people with motorcycle helmets and asking them for Daft Punk's autograph."

"""Would you like to import all of your phonebook contacts to your Twitter account...?"" hahahaha yeah, that'll go well"

"Ask yourself what you would do for one more day with the ones you've lost and then do those things for the ones you still have."

"Why couldn't the hippie reach his tie dyed T-shirt? Because it was Far Out!"

"My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not."