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Joke of the Day
"You should never marry a tennis player. Apparently love means nothing to them."
Next Joke
"Always buy 'hand wash only' shirts whenever you want to wear something once and then throw it into a 'hand wash only' basket for 15 years."
"Girls who draw their eyebrows on may as well do them with a disappointed expression because yeah no thanks."
"The theme song from The Golden Girls is stuck in my head. and now its in yours too. Your welcome."
"What is a Jawa's favorite drink? Martini"
"I used to be poor. Then I found a thesaurus now I am impecunious."
"Sorry kids, Santa isn't real. If he was, he'd be an obese pedophile, felon, and elf slave owner. Seriously though, Merry Christmas."
"If a person becomes a murderer they go to jail If a cop becomes a murderer they get paid vacation."
"Why are promise rings 1/10th the price of engagement rings? They only work 10% of the time."
"What do you call your saggy old midwife? Me doula oblongota"