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Joke of the Day

"I used to be poor. Then I found a thesaurus now I am impecunious."

"What do you call a Jamaican cooking competition? A jerkoff"

"How do you become a kleptomaniac? You pick it up from other people"

"I was trying to work out which of the Thai girls at a bar was actually a girl, and got it embarrassingly wrong... ...I felt such a dick."

"People that still call into radio stations are probably doing it from house phones."

"My friend really likes to have sex with people. I guess it's the teenage whoremones."

"I'm not racist... ...I own a colored tv."

"Dead babies and rocks What is the difference between a dead baby and a rock? You can't Fuck a rock"

"How do you stop a baby from crawling round in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor."

"Him- I saw you over here sipping your wine. Me- You clearly have me mistaken for another very attractive woman, because I don't sip wine."