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Joke of the Day

"So my dad was all ""stop eating my pills"" and then I was like ""stop melting into the floor and spinning multi colored webs you talking lamp"""

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"What's the worst part about being gay? Making love is a real pain in the ass."
"The best vacation? Close your eyes and throw a dart at a map. Where did it land? Doesn't matter. Just keep your eyes closed and go to sleep."
"What does DNA strand for? National Dyslecsics Association"
"If I got 1$ for every failed math exam... I'd have $ 10.30 now."
"A nurse puts her hand in her pocket, finds a rectal thermometer and exclaims.... ""Some arsehole's got my pen!"""
"Two men of African American descent are standing on the edge of a dock, peeing into the lake. The first man says, ""Water's cold today huh?"" The second one replies, ""Yeah...and deep too."""
"What do you call Hitler's bachelor party? The Reich-stag!"
"What did my roommate say when I asked him if he wanted to watch the movie The usual Suspects? Is it about black people?"
"Q: Why did the hearing aid saleman give it up for a life of piracy? A: Because he only made a good buccaneer."