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Joke of the Day

"Terrible news. The guy who created AMC cinema's has died. His funeral is next Friday at 2:30, 5:20 and 7:45."

"Why don't they make bouncy houses for adults? You'd spill your drink."

"Bear and Rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, Bear turns to Rabbit and says, ""Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"" Rabbit says no and Bear whipes his ass with Rabbit."

"Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff"

"Back in my day you knew who your real friends were because they ranked you in order of importance on Myspace."

"What did 0 say to 1? You're turning me on!"

"Q: What's the opposite of a somersault? A: A winter pepper."

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A Stick"

"It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim"