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Joke of the Day

"LPT: If you don't have a SO, pray to God every night and see if that works. If not... try Satan."

"Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver."

"Ginger Ale tastes so much worse outside an airplane."

"How can you tell if your wife has been screwing all your friends? All their dicks taste just like her twat."

"I wasn't going to get a brain transplant... But then I changed my mind"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's an obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"Good cop: We know it was you. Just confess. Murderer: I didn't do nothin' Breaks the fourth wall cop: Your name in this tweet is Murderer."

"Pac-man walks into Pizzeria... and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic."

"knock knock ...... come in..."

"How does Santa know if he lands on a Jewish house? There's a parking meter on the roof."