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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Ramen warehouse that burned down? Dozens of dollars worth of Ramen was lost."

"What do you say to a man with no body and no nose? No body nose."

"My doctor told me to start killing people. Well, not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce the stress in my life. Same thing!"

"My Favorite Blonde Joke Having sex with a blonde is kinda like sitting down onto a warm toilet seat. It feels nice, but you gotta wonder who was there before you."

"Whatever you do, always give 100% Unless you're donating blood"

"Today a tiny hat was convicted of murder... They say he finally just broke down and con-fezzed to the crime."

"How many NYPD officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black."

"Just saw the hood of my jacket out of the corner of my eye and jumped out of the way, in case the Navy SEALS are hiring."

"Atoms are the biggest liars in the universe... They make up everything."

"If I ever die, my phone better go with me or there will be some pissed off people at my funeral."