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Joke of the Day

"Just saw the hood of my jacket out of the corner of my eye and jumped out of the way, in case the Navy SEALS are hiring."

"What do you call a large pile of kittens? A meowntain."

"*looks up from phone* Great, I'm inside of a coffin again."

"What did one cracker say to the other? ""Let's conquer the Americas, Africa, Australia, and Asia."""

"A general reads War and Peace another soldier asked him how he liked it ""liked the first half, hated the second. "" he said"

"What did the call of duty player say to his girlfriend about gaining weight? EX SO FAT"

"My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It's called lunch."

"The Bat family were playing a game of ""old maid"" with a poker deck... Needless to say it was a never ending game. Everyone wanted the joker."

"In a recent football game, a player sustained injuries, and the manager was fired after sending on the wrong player to replace him. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Guy says: Is this seat empty? Girl says: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."