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Joke of the Day

"If I ever die, my phone better go with me or there will be some pissed off people at my funeral."

"Need the most offensive team name possible for beer Olympics team. I believe in you Internet"

"How many dead hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, but it's not five, because my basement is still dark."

"If a gay guy jumps on your back... do you leave him there, or do you beat him off?"

"You know that amazing feeling you get after kissing a woman? of course you don't."

"What's the aim of a Jewish football match? Getting the quarterback."

"How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb? well many how???"

"If Rick Astley invites you to his Tree House, don't go! Because he's never going to let you down!"

"Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors."

"You would not believe how many times Leonardo Da Vinci had to paint the Mona Lisa before he got one where she wasn't blinking"