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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bunch of cats sitting in a circle? The purr-rimiter."

"What do you call attempting to jump to light speed before checking the Hyper Drive first? A Wookie mistake!"

"What do you call a deaf dog? It doesn't matter, it can't hear you anyway."

"I'VE GOT GOATLIKE SPEED & REFLEXES ""Don't you mean catlike-"" BAAAH [Climbs on top of roof and begins eating shingles]"

"Meteorologist - Be horrible at you job and no one really cares. Pizza Delivery Driver - Be five minutes late and people lose their minds!"

"How do you stay hidden in the Desert? Camal-Flage"

"I am so sorry to hear about your grandma... I know what you're going through my phone dies all the time."

"Skinny = anorexic , thick = obese , virgin = too good , non-virgin = slut , friendly = fake , quiet = rude. You can never please society"

"There's panic and then there's can't-find-your-tampon-string-panic."

"Why is Peter Pan on the No-Fly list? Whenever he boards a plane it neverlands"