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Joke of the Day

"I'VE GOT GOATLIKE SPEED & REFLEXES ""Don't you mean catlike-"" BAAAH [Climbs on top of roof and begins eating shingles]"

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him."

"A wife asks her husband... ""do you piss in the shower?"" ""Of course"" he replies. ""that's disgusting"" she shrieks ""but honey, I always piss when I take a shit"""

"I saw a sign yesterday that said, ""Have you seen this man?"" with a little picture of the criminal and a number to call. I was bored so I rung them up and said, ""No, I haven't."""

"What do you call a Knight that cuts beef? Sir Loin."

"You don't really know someone until you get drunk with them"

"I heard Reddit opened its own restaurant... The food is great, but the servers are always down."

"Being single is nice because I don't have to repeat my mumbled gibberish in a defensive tone."

"Q. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome a good lover and a stimulating partner? A. In the pages of a romance novel."

"Can somebody please hand me a knife? This fork just isn't cutting it."