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Joke of the Day

"I am so sorry to hear about your grandma... I know what you're going through my phone dies all the time."

"A man walks into a doctors with five penises, I asked him: ""how do you put your trousers/pants on??"" He said: ""like a glove"""

"How can you tell when the Chief Accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to Marketing before saying No"

"So I taught my Grandad how to use skype ... Is it buffering or is he having a stroke?"

"Don't ever mistake me for someone who hasn't flirted with danger. I've got bitten by a Penguin. Twice."

"Teacher : The word politics - can you give me an example of how to use it ? Pupil : My parrot swallowed a watch and now Polly ticks !"

"I save an average of $5 per tank of gas by filling up at Costco. I'll have enough saved to buy a house in about 1,200 years."

"How do you get a Mormon to not drink all of your beer on a fishing trip? Bring two Mormons."

"what do you call a clean idiot? soap on a dope"

"drity Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."