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Joke of the Day

"Silly batman joke my doctor told me today Twoface never liked it when his men shouted, 'hey you! With the face!'"

"Three kittens were on a roof, which slipped off first? The one with the lowest mew"

"What do you call a Mexican knockoff burger restaurant? Carlos Jr."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? Nevermind; it's actually a really obscure number you've probably never heard of it."

"I celebrated 4/20 on January 5th. I know how to reduce fractions."

"I'm an atheist with a god-complex... ...which explains why all my highschool teachers always said I never believed in myself."

"Not sure what my dog thinks I do all day, but based on her excitement when I get home she apparently lives in constant fear I'll be murdered"

"What do Will and Jaden Smith like about today? It's After Earth Day."

"What do you call someone who loves Christmas but doubts the existence of God? Eggnog-stic."

"Drunk girls whisper in caps lock."