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Joke of the Day

"Curious that it's always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters."

"Kid pulls prank on teachers seat with glue. Teacher dies due to... Asphyxiation."

"I feel like (for me) to be great one day is to finish what Hitler didn't... Art school"

"The other day I sold someone a stale fish, next day he came to my store and said ""you selfish"" and left... now I am not sure if I should have replied ""yes"" or ""sorry""."

"What's a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese."

"I phoned up the fishing helpline today. I said, ""I'm crap at fishing and need some tips"". The man said, ""Okay, can you hold the line?"" I said, ""No""."

"Why doesn't Bono like Google? He still hasn't found what he's looking for."

"Did you hear about that guy who was crushed by his Honda? Police say he died of his own Accord."

"What did Pikachu say to Ash Catchem? Pikachu"

"Snapple's made from ""The Best Stuff on Earth."" Really? Heroin-laced Nutella?"