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Joke of the Day

"It's easier to travel back in time and stop yourself from being born than it is to delete your Facebook account."

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"(NSFW) Let's have a bet Let's have a bet. When I grow up, I'm gonna be a good dad. If I am a good dad, you will give me a million pounds. If I'm not, I'll beat the shit out of my kids, deal?"
"What's the difference between a male and female chocolate Easter bunny? About a quarter inch of chocolate"
"I love everything about writing except the part where you want to kill yourself, which is all of it."
"Don't hate the game, hate the player who keeps sending you Facebook invites to play the game."
"We're having sweet potato fries with dinner ""Haha sweet potatoes?"" DON'T ""Don't what?"" You're gonna make a dumb potato pun ""I YAM NOT!"""
"The best underwear jokes.... are brief."
"What do you call a gay rock. A fruity pebble."
"Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, your pets in tupperware, your grandad in a crockpot and your mother in law in a ziplock bag."
"What's worse than finding out that your wife has cancer? Finding out it's curable."