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Joke of the Day

"If you listen to a Miley Cyrus song backwards you can hear Satan refusing to have sex with her."

"What do history teachers make when they want to get together? Dates!"

"My coworkers will stand around confused during a fire drill but the office turns into the Hunger Games when there's lunch brought in by reps"

"Brain: Walk up to her and offer her a drink. Me: I WANT TO DRINK YOU LIKE A SIPPY CUP. Brain: Can you actually hear me?"

"I want to make a series about the murder of an airline crew but I still have to shoot the pilot."

"Why is this joke bad for the environment? Because it wasn't recycled."

"My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well actually he said ""less McDonald's"" but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant"

"Pretty sure my dog is even ashamed of me right now, and I've seen him do some questionable shit. Don't ask."

"A survey was held on what citizens of the United Kingdom thought of the new DOOM game... The overwhelming response was ""bloody hell"""

"How do Jews do a pregnancy test? The woman spreads her legs and the man throws a penny between them - if a hand darts out to snatch it up then it's a positive"