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Joke of the Day

"""Eat your dinner so that lamb didn't die for nothing"" - will ensure you get your daughter's helping, too."

"Peter Pan is my favorite story about how running away from all your problems will allow you to remain youthful and to possibly fly someday"

"I dont know if anyone else remember this joke - How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen consume? - Enough to kill two and a half men."

"Why do doctor's offices take your blood pressure AFTER weighing you? Of course it's going to be high then."

"How is Kim Kardashian's ass like a password-protected compressed file? They both have their own zip code"

"Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle they put it around her neck"

"What does a Christmas tree and a monk have in common? They both have ornamental balls"

"How many Vietnam Veterans does it take to screw in a light bulb? YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN, BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE..!!!"

"Twitter: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk dial the world?"

"Dot [limerick] There once was a woman named Dot, who lived off of pig-shit and snot. When she ran out of these, she ate the green cheese, that grew on the sides of her twat."