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Joke of the Day

"""Eat your dinner so that lamb didn't die for nothing"" - will ensure you get your daughter's helping, too."

"Blue Guy lives in the blue house, red guy lives in the red house, purple guy lives in the purple house, orange guy... Lives in the White House."

"What one food reduces a woman's sex drive by 90%? Wedding cake."

"A man walks into a brothel.. The attendant behind the desk says ""Beat it. We're closed""."

"Did you hear they're gonna make a new TV show about Bruce growing up as an unloved child? They're gonna call it Punky Bruceter."

"You can't trust atoms... They make up everything."

"Dogs and house intruders What did 15 of my former dogs and the intruder have in common? They were delicious."

"ME: Haha you can tell them any name and they have to say it BARISTA: I have a latte for ""A Person Who Deserves Love""? ME [crying]: Hahaha"

"I know almost 100 jokes about scales, but only 1 of them is good... All the rest are tareable"

"Newsreader: Police are asking anyone with any information- Me: [shouting at TV] You lose 90% of your heat from your head"