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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who invented knock-knock jokes? He won the nobel prize"

"How girls put on their pants: *Left leg*, *Right leg*, '' Wiggle*, *Wiggle*, *twerk*, *Jump*, *Jump*, *Squat*, *Stretch* Done."

"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and Scotsman? The Rolling Stones say ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud."" A Scotsman says ""Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe."""

"Ha! Major typo on page 28 of the new iTunes agreement. Anyone else catch that?"

"The thing about the holocaust is... It was the experience of a lifetime."

"There are 10 types of people in the world... Those that understand binary, and those that don't."

".@rickygervais Ricky, if you can get Twitter to verify me, you will be the first atheist allowed into heaven."

"""I love watching myself in the mirror while I shoot dope."" Said Tom in vain."

"[Checking in at Comic Con] Attendant: How long did you spend on your cosplay? Me: Seven months A: *Hands me a badge marked ""Casual""*"

"Someone tried to touch my ass without my permission. Safe to say, I'm not letting anyone on my farm again."