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Joke of the Day

"I sealed a fart in a jar for my wife to open because I know how to romance a lady."

"So today I found out why clickbait is so effective"

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat? Because if they fell forward they'd still be on the boat. :D"

"LPT: If you've got toddlers at home, and you're going to take them out... You can probably get away with using a light sedative. Save chloroform for children 12 and older."

"Fave bit of the Breaking Bad finale is when Ross is like ""DID SHE GET OFF THE METH?"" and then Rachel shows up and says ""I got off the meth."""

"Which snakes are found on cars? Windscreen vipers."

"What do you call a blind dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesaurus. I watched Jurassic Park tonight, stole this."

"What do you call sex with a black person? Beastiality."

"Auto correct changed ""group hug"" to ""grope hug"" and I'm not in charge of the team-building exercises any more."

"I was at a Chinese restaurant... when I realized that a duckling is a small duck. So I decided to cancel my order of steamed dumplings."