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Joke of the Day

"I started a business... I started a business selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof."

"*Getting murdered* omg I have the exact same knives"

"Thor gets drunk, blacks out and wakes up next to a man. Confused, he looks at the man and says, ""I AM THOR."" And they guy says, ""You think you're thore, my ath is killing me."""

"Waiter, I'll have what he's having. Ok sir. One fly in your soup. Anything else?"

"Why did the cook go to jail? He was caught beating the egg"

"Donald Sterling saying racism is not a problem is like mosquitoes saying malaria is not a problem."

"Menstruation is no laughing matter Menstration is no launghing matter. Period."

"Elephants Did you know an elephant's sexual organs are in its feet? if they step you, you're fucked!"

"If my co-worker says ValenTIMES one more time, I'ma need one of you to make good on the ""I'll help you hide a body"" promise."

"Your girlfriend is imaginary... Nope, she's real. She just hasn't arrived yet."