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Joke of the Day
"What do you get if you cross the Queen and Prince Philip? Murdered in a tunnel in Paris."
Next Joke
"A man that recently turned blind stabbed himself because he couldn't see the point anymore."
"Why do they bury police officers 6ft under. Because deep down they are good people."
"friend: let's meet up soon me: *in the crow's nest of a ship docking outside your house* when though"
"How do you access a watersports/golden shower porn site if you don't know the URL? You just use the IP address"
"I'm gonna pretend my dad didn't abandon me but is actually on the missing Malaysia air flight and he'll be back"
"Dear men, We love you until you forget to call or show up late or breathe the wrong way - women P.s you're reading this tweet wrong"
"Has Jack Johnson done a TED talk on chillaxing yet?"
"""Thanks for turning me into an expression of contempt. Sorry about making delicious nourishment so damned accessible."" -Low-hanging fruit"
"What's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and a tub of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna."