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Joke of the Day

"I'm not stalking you. I'm trying to help you find that sock that you dropped behind the door before you left for work Wednesday at 7:04."

"[at funeral] ""it was so sudden"" really? ""yeah right in the middle of rap battle"" I thought you said he died of dysentery TERRY: That's right"

"A man with no nose applies to be a professional flatulence detector."

"Did you hear that archaeologists discovered an unusual ancient Egyptian tomb recently? The body was preserved with chocolate and nuts. Experts believe it to be the tomb of Pharaoh Roche!"

"Reckless driving, pot allegations and cop visits, Justin Bieber is a bad wig away from being the next Amanda Bynes."

"The president of Nintendo has died. The ambulance went Wii U Wii U Wii U"

"Is anyone here named Jeff? Jeff: Yes. Jeoff: Yeos."

"What Do You Call A Blank Piece Of Paper? WOMEN'S RIGHTS!!!"

"What's a hairdressers's favourite Christmas song? 'Oh comb all ye faithful'"

"Did you hear about the piece of scrap wood? He went to BOARDing school and applyed (applied) to college."