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Joke of the Day

"Slaves be like ""Oh, you worked four years for your Bachelors?"" I worked 50 for my Masters"

"My career as a karate instructor finally came to an end. The parents found out I wasn't qualified and just enjoyed kicking children."

"[NSFW] What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Gag gag gag"

"What do Zero and Nil have in common? Absolutely nothing"

"I just whispered Beetlejuice 3 times and Michael Keaton showed up and asked for a job."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He tried to work it out with a slide rule."

"Pretty cool that Sarah Connor saved mankind by raw-dogging a total stranger claiming to be a time traveller at the height of the AIDS scare."

"You know you're getting old when you scroll down the birthday drop down menu ... And it starts going into Roman Numerals."

"For Sale: Dwarf Jacuzzi Can also be used as a foot spa."

"You guys want to play that new Michael Brown drinking game? It's easy, you just stand there and take eight shots."