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Joke of the Day
"""I hate hashtags!"" Dad screams as he smashes his #1 Dad coffee mug against a wall."
Next Joke
"how do you make a dog go meow Put it in the freezer then overnight then cut it in half with the chainsaw in the morning ""Mmmmeeeeeooowwwww"""
"It's late and I'm wondering what my high school girlfriend is doing now. I'd call her but I know she has a big algebra test tomorrow."
"What Do You Call It When Someone Has a Bad Experience With Weed? Blunt trauma."
"Someone just corrected my ""good morning"" with a ""good afternoon"" so I said, ""go to hell you clock watching motherfucker""."
"What do you call an Irishman sitting on your veranda? Patty O'Furniture."
"What's the difference between an old Greyhound terminal and a lobster with double D breasts? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean."
"The barber in my neighborhood just got arrested for selling drugs. I've been a customer of his for 4 years, and I never knew he was a barber."
"I blame instagram for making these basic b*tches think that they're ""models"" in real life."
"I've got good news and bad news: the bad news is that it's either trump or Hillary for president... The good news is that by 2020 America will be in ruins and Kanye will never get a chance to run."