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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I always joke around. She'll ask ""What were you doing?"", then we'll both laugh and then I go make sure I cleared my web history."

"[travels back in time to warn 12 year old me about playing video games too much] you become fat and lazy and-whoa Mortal Kombat 2 scoot over"

"Food is like dark humor not everyone gets it"

"How do you get three old ladies to say the ""F"" word? Yell ""BINGO!"""

"""Plagiarism Squad reporting for duty."" / ""Copy that."""

"I was bit by a radio active spider so now I wear a rubber suit, swing around like a monkey and use karate, you know, like a spider."

"TIL They Discovered a Gay Dinosaur It was a Megasoreass"

"How do you make a fat chick orgasm? Who cares....."

"Definition of a Masochist... *Definition of a Masochist:* ***""Beat me! Beat me!""*** *Definition of a Sadist:* ***""No!""***"

"I used an emoticon with a nose once. It was stupid and embarrassing. I wouldn't recommend it."