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Joke of the Day

"Nothing is worse than having a cranberries song stuck in your head, in your head, in your heeeeeeeeeeaaaad zombie zombie zombie eee eee"

"My football playing cousin went to prison He went in as a tight end, and came out as a wide receiver."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bond ! Bond who ? Bond to succeed !"

"If you are a rock climber and are looking for new carabiner... I can get you a nice hookup on a deal. Edit: Apparently I can't edit the title to add the missing letter."

"My special power is reading about a disease and developing all the related symptoms within an hour."

"It makes me sad when people tell me they married their best friend, mostly because marriage between a woman and Vodka will never be legal."

"Taking to people about your child abuse experience is the toughest part. The last time i did it, i had to spend 7 years in jail."

"What do you call a group of 5 guys named Curtis that are all wearing matching suits? A Curtis-y flush"

"What's the difference between a white woman and a tampon? They're both stuck up cunts."

"8y:thank you for the present grandma ....: no need.. 8y: that's what I thought too but mum said I have to"