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Joke of the Day

"My football playing cousin went to prison He went in as a tight end, and came out as a wide receiver."

"What did the astronaut see on his skillet? Unidentified frying (flying) objects."

"Hash browns not tags."

"what do men with erectile disfunction and nintendo cartridges have in common? It works if you blow it before you put it in."

"I've never been offered money for sex. Never been offered money to not have sex either. So there's that."

"When they ask me in a job interview what my greatest weakness is, I always say that I can't open my eyes under water"

"Whiteboards. They're remarkable."

"Half the fun of buying your child a piece-of-shit knock off game system is how mad they get when you refer to it as a ""Playstation""."

"Sam sung a song, and PUFF! An apple materialized!"

"What is the difference between an epilectic oyster and a whore with diarrhea? One you shuck between fits."