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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst part about Necrophilia? The awkward silence."

"Did you hear the one about a pony with a cough? It was a little horse."

"Have you seen the new movie, ""Constipation""? It may not have come out yet."

"""Hey. Here's some free oxygen. No prob! All I ask is that you don't let your dogs piss on m- Oh there he goes. He's pissing on me."" -trees"

"Me: We didn't even have cell phones or the internet when I was your age. 6yo: Did you have bikes? Me....nope, we rode horses. 6yo: WOOOOW"

"If you want me to save a horse and ride a cowboy, you better spare a tree and eat a beaver."

"I may not be the best looking, wittiest, smartest or even the most successful person. I forget where I was going with this..."

"Why didn't the man buy Velcro shoes? ....because they were a rip off"

"What's a pirate's favorite move in chess? Check, matey."

"What's the difference between a green elephant and a purple one? One of them is purple"