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Joke of the Day
"Have you seen the new movie, ""Constipation""? It may not have come out yet."
Next Joke
"What do Dracula's girlfriend and Mike Tyson have in common? They both go down for the count!!"
"idea for haunted house: dimly lit grocery store sprinkled with people you haven't talked to since high school"
"What do you say to a lady that has to make 100 shirts by tomorrow? you seamstressed"
"""I sit on my ass looking at the web all day."" a spider"
"Did you hear about the guy who wanted to be reincarnated as a stud? He woke up on a snow tire in Michigan."
"What's Mark Zuckerberg's favorite sex move? The facial. He wrote the book on it."
"Me: He's starting to stir! Wife: Shhhh. Me: OH MY GOD... Wife: Be quiet. Me: HE'S GOT A KNIFE! Wife: I hate watching cooking shows with you."
"Why do scientists love watching dog shows? They appreciate good lab skills"
"Got a HJ (""handjob"") from a FRUIT! [NSFW if you can't have handjob jokes @ W] He gave apple and made me kumquats!"