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Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a pretty obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."

"I walked into a Jamaican cafe, I was hungry and a' thirstin'. I asked the barman for a tot of navy rum and a pie of some description. He said we got no rum and no pies, no rum and no pies."

"If Pulp Fiction has taught us anything it's that we're better off not knowing if there's more shit down in the basement of any pawn shop."

"Think about the nicest thing anyone's ever said about you. Not really true, right?"

"mad gf How do you know when your girlfriend is mad at you? She leaves the string in the Bloody Mary"

"If Trump gets the Presidency, he'll ban all shredded cheese from being bought... He wants to make America grate again."

"Did you hear about the writer that became a tailor? He had to make an Ernest living, the Hemingway."

"What do you call a Cloyster that wants to learn the move Rain Dance? The clam before the storm!"

"Why do the French not pronounce ""h"" at the beginning of words? *with a French accent* Because they hate it."

"Did you know that if you drive past the first drive thru window your food is free?"